heavensent17's Xanga

Friday, July 14, 2006

Fri, 14 Jul 2006 07:12:02 GMT

I have moved on...

check it.

this one is done.. like this..

Robin is born:

Robin ventures to find new things:

Robin comes across boys:

Robin hates boys:

Robin thinks it best to write about how

much they suck online:

Robin grows up... and decides to find

new boys and make a new site:

and thus completes this xanga.

www.xanga.com/brightxeyedxgirl

<33

heavensent17

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Thu, 13 Jul 2006 02:30:40 GMT

Job Prospects...

I went to Gottschalks today and the old lady loved me.

I went to Coco's as well and the lady liked me.

I went Subway and the manager told me to come back for and interview tomorrow.

I went into Starbucks and the supervisor liked me. she told me to come on tuesday

to the hiring fair and she stapled a card on my application so that the manager would

give me an interview on the spot.

Pretty sweet i think.

So if I don't get to work at Gottschalks, it's not the end of the world.

But that would still be incredibly rad.

And i know.. it seems silly to say such a thing as this,

But i think that things are finally falling into place.

I might not have my boy, but i guess one day he will come.

And when he comes I will finally feel that i have everything.

okay, not everything, but why complain? No one has everything.

<33 robin

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Wed, 12 Jul 2006 06:04:58 GMT

So apparently..

goos is the new good.

and tyler aka thomas and i are two fucking peas in one fucking pod.

yeah thats pretty rad, you're jealous.

if you could have seen thomas

[that's his real name]

then you would have wished that you could

be the other pea in HIS pod...

hahah

[that was mostly for carissa..]

and thats it for now..

oh yeah! i applied at starbucks..

and subway..

so much for random summer job.

and i sooo wanted to work at gottschalks.

<333

robin

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Tue, 11 Jul 2006 03:57:03 GMT

Today I...

went to jamba juice looking like shit.

went swimming.

watched real world.

got prank phone called?

Tomorrow I Will...

go fill out applications to get a freaking job.

clean my room.

do laundry.

sit around being bored.

And..

I really dont have anything to say about anything right now. I'm talking to C on the phone.. Well at the moment neither of us are saying anything, but that will change. I want to have something to do for the rest of summer. like have a job earn some cash. im so bored most of the time. i really dont know where i want to work. maybe gottschalks. because it would be funny to say that i work there. like how random is that? gottschalks.. hahah well one things fer pretty sure, i probably wouldnt waste any of my paychecks there because i can never find anything that i like.

So yeah, things are pretty boring at the moment. nothing cool going on. most people are talking about warped tour and shit, but i dont know.. im not too jealous of them because they get to go... i hear some pretty crazy wt stories and my feeling on it is "ehhhh"

mostly my feeling on summer is

"ehhhhhh!"

<3 robin

Friday, July 07, 2006

Fri, 07 Jul 2006 22:37:11 GMT

I had this realization

that i am a dork. i mean, i love ashlee simpson. and i will crawl through my house at three in the morning, still fully awake, just to get a glass of water. I am obsessed with matching, and notice when other people don't. I can't go out without my chapstick because you never know when you're going to need it. I dance around my room when no one's there and laugh at jokes that people tell when really, they aren't funny. I just don't want them to feel dumb, so I laugh to make them feel better. I hate tying shoes because the laces have so much dirt on them. I used to carry a lint roller around with me everywhere due to sudden lint emergencies. Once I went into Lotza Mozza's bathroom and quesioned whether there were dead bodies in the compartment behind the toilet. I also almost fell in when I was certain that my hypothesis was correct. I sometimes prank phone call nick uschyk with carissa and talk about rainbow trouts as if he really cares. I still want to know what the E stands for in E&E Pels... don't think you're getting out of that one Nicholas.

[as if he really reads this]

i want my mommy. I haven't seen her in a week or so. I miss her so much. and that's really sad and pathetic, i know.. I just get really homesick. even for the smallest of things. like knowing where everything in the kitchen is. i just like the feeling of home. and this is home. it's where my heart is, so then i guess that saying is honest, eh?

home IS where the heart is.

swear.

<3 robin

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Thu, 06 Jul 2006 07:09:20 GMT

Blackout

If I could account for anything semi important about last night, then i would surely tell you all about it. If I had been awake to know who carried me up the stairs and put me into bed, then i would have thanked them. If I wouldnt have thrown up in chris looney's car then maybe I wouldn't feel so stupid right now. yeah, pretty much.

I do remember a few random blips of someone telling me to take my shirt off... and i was still in a frame of mind to know what was happening.. but i was going to take my shirt off in front of all these guys and that would have sucked. i think i was just going to pull my top shirt off and be like "hahahah fooled you!" because i was wearing two layers... and that would have been great. I also remember falling off of the couch onto the deck and that was the last thing i remember actually comprehending.

One thing is for certain, raspberry vodka is no longer on my list of must haves. If it was ever on there before, it surely would have been checked off this morning when I woke up and still felt wasted. That is how you know that you had far too much poison beverage for one evening. Is when you wake up the next morning and your liver has had it with you and wants to move out. That's how I felt this morning, purely gone, utterly unconscious, totally sick.

I want to swim in the ocean right now. I wouldnt even be afraid of sharks. What if i just drove to san diego and ran onto a beach? Would that not just be cool? and i could come back and say "man, i just went in the ocean.. and now im back." the ocean is so refreshing. like it's cold at first and the salt hurts your eyes and stuff, but eventually, you start to adjust and your body rolls with the waves and it's not so bad.

<3 robin

Monday, July 03, 2006

Mon, 03 Jul 2006 22:31:45 GMT

good afternoon

im in arrowhead with C and we're having a good time.

well, you could read all about it on carissa's xanga, but i want to write about what it is the two of us have been up to as well. I think that this is fun. You might think it's not so fun.. which means we both have different thoughts.

parallelism.

speaking of parallelism, chris, this bro up here in arrowhead that we have been hanging out with, cannot say it correctly to save his life. I believe in his lingo it is referred to as "parelism". He has trouble with too many syllables. He thought gorgeous was three syllables. Poor kid. haha.

Well, Carissa sure is happy. She spends most of her days listening to Bright Eyes and reflecting...

[i feel that the world should follow suit]

and mostly, we just like to laugh and talk about the old times. prank call a few people... but mostly that's just because we have in the past. drinking wine is not the same as any other sort of depressant.. mostly because i never feel depressed whilst i am drinking it. It leaves me feeling warm inside. It seems that so many things these days have lost that effect.

<3 robin

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Sat, 01 Jul 2006 20:46:00 GMT

eep. so excited.

going to arrowhead with c

and then when we get there

who knows what will happen.

i saw a car crash today in the middle of the road

while i was driving back from breakfast.

now only 5 months until i can get my license

and then i am good to go...

but i can't drive any of my friends unless i have

a licensed driver over the age of twenty five

in the car as well...

but who even follows that law?

</3

i really love bright eyes.

i made my mom listen to bowl of oranges

and she didnt like it too much.

but she did like something vague

and we are nowhere and it's now.

because those are really good songs.

hehe.

i feel kinda sick.

i really want to go to ihop and eat those funnel cakes

that they have now.

that's like the only reson i even

go to the fair... the food.

so delicious and bad for you.

<3

but anyways, that was random.

so carissa is all excited

that i'm coming..

i hope that it's as fun as i've dreamed it up to be..

even though carissa says it's not

so much..

meh, whatever.

it will probably be better with both

of us there.

she's bringing her computer

supposedly, if my sources are correct...

[hehe you know who you are, source]

so that will be good.

i won't be all internet deprived.

well... i love all of you.

and i will hopefully see more of you

when i get back.

<33 robin

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Wed, 28 Jun 2006 21:34:15 GMT

still job searching...

so lame. i wish that i could just have a job and that was it. none of this application bs. yup. but everyone has to do it at some point. and i guess that point has come for me. blahhh.

i know that i've been saying how excited i am to become junior status and all, but it just makes graduation and the real world seem so far away. i've been talking about what i want to do after high school with my family a lot lately. it seems that as the future gets closer, the more i'm not so sure what i'm going to do in it. and i want to be sure. i dont want to get stuck here in this california desert for the rest of my life. i want to pick up everything that fall before i turn 19 years old, and move myself somewhere crazy like across the country. to new york city or something. no more california sun. thank God.

[haha i love the double entendre]

but how will i possibly make it? in new york city they say, "if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere." i guess that is true. because it's such a big city that it would swallow you whole and nobody would miss you until your rent was due.how exciting. and sad, but still really exciting. i mean, what would i do when i actually made it there? if i actually made it there? and how hard would i have to work to become something other than that passing face on madison avenue? ha, the odds are so stacked against me, that i might as well not dream it. but i want to dance. i want to dance on broadway, or for radio city, or in times square next to the naked cowboy. just anywhere. i mean, i dance when i hear a song on the tv that i like, i dance when there's no music, and i even dance when it's not even appropriate [in my head]. i just love it.

you know, i find it strange that i wait almost alll school year just for summer to begin, but once it does i am counting down the days until i can start a brand new year. this coming up year... better be fabulous. simply because it's our junior year, and that seems like the best year ever. so i guess i just hope that carissa and my theory is correct about junior boys. that they get ten times hotter when they come back in the fall. however, we dont know any boys, really, who are transformation material. saddening.

okay, so let's see... on the boy front. ha! there is no boy front really. seeing as the boy that i thought i'd have all summer is one serious pinhead. and that's the nicest thing i could possibly say about the kid. what's the point of liking anyone if you can never seem to find just the right one? because mostly, the ones who actually seem the most worth it.. are the least worth it.

me: but you told me that you didnt want a relationship, period.

him: with you robin

him: i didn't want a relationship with you.

there are one thousand things that i wish i had typed at that moment, but didnt. i mean, i should have said "your loss" or "have fun with your slutty freshman girlfriend" or "i really feel bad for you"... or any version of "fuck off" would have worked too. but no, i didn't say anything like that. because he started playing the victim. he started acting all hurt and tortured. saying "why don't you just shoot me then, robin. maybe things would be better that way." and if there is one thing i cannot stand, it's when a guy does something shitty and he can't own up to it. instead, he mopes and acts like a little baby. i hated him at that moment. but he didn't know it. because again, i couldn't bring myself to be mean enough to the little baby that i was talking to. so he's just one more to add to the list of "guys i wish would come around and see what they're missing". it seems that list has gotten far too long. and i was hoping to not have to add to it for a while. for a long while. but there he sits, at the bottom of the list... probably never to be checked off. because, really, what are they missing? just some silly girl who doesn't know much about the games boys play.</3

"Am I first on that list of yours?

or am i second, or third? So who's that ahead of me...

some harlot from Pittsburgh?"

but on some other front that isn't quite as interesting... i miss carissa. a lot. she's in arrowhead, having not so much fun... but i wish that instead of her being there having not so much fun, and me being here and having not so much fun.. i wish that we were there together not having so much fun. you know? she invited me to go up to arrowhead with her when she comes back down for a weekend. i need to call her and make sure that she is coming down... because if so then i need to convince the parentals. soon. that means for at least a week, no xanga or myspace if i end up going with her. but at least there are other sources of entertainment to be had. aka.. slightly out of town boys. but apparently they are all bros. meh, not really into all that, but hopefully it will get my mind off of all the palm springs crap. i hate palm springs. yuck.

i think i want to go get some water. h2o, yeah you know. stephanopolis... it's good for you. drink up. gatorade is no bien. and thank you for being interested. hehe

more later, if there's anything to write even.

<33 robin hood.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Tue, 27 Jun 2006 20:43:04 GMT

i dont know what to write,

mostly because there has been nothing happening. if there was something going on, then maybe this blog might actually be worth reading. but there isnt, so does that mean that it's not? i sometimes wonder which is better, xanga? or myspace? because on myspace there is nothing to do besides leave comments on pictures and silly comments about nothing really in particular. but on xanga, you can actually write what you are thinking and people will read it if they are interested enough. but that's just it, xanga's like a private journal but it's meant for everyone. why write down things for people to read if it means letting them know everything about you? and if your argument to that is: well just dont write really personal stuff, then what is teh point of it at all? there is none. that's just it. there's just that thrill of writing down my very personal thoughts and clicking the submit button that scares and excites me, kowing everyone will know. maybe im just odd.

i'm listening to thrice right now. i never listen to thrice.ever. but this is a good song... red sky, yup. so i hear that next year's homecoming theme is fairytales. wow, too bad i already wore that princess dress for last year's formal. i wonder if any of last years seniors will come back and be the dates of someone who's still in high school? haha doubtful, but i was just thinking about it because some of them came back last year from our freshman year. hm, so i dont know what im going to wear to homecoming, but i hope it will be fab.

so my sister wants to go see the break-up at four. and i take forever to get completely ready. it's a curse, really. i wont go out unless i look semi decent. but maybe thats not so bad? okay, im going. really, im going.

<33 Robin